A Chance Meeting

I recently bumped into an old secondary school friend whom I haven't seen in many years, we used to be quite close at one point of time until we drifted apart about a year before I left for Melbourne.

I updated her on my recent unemployment, she casually remarked that I could "live off" my boyfriend for the time being. I replied matter-of-factly that he doesn't earn much as a bartender.

She replied incredulously with her eyes opened widely, "Then why did you pick a bartender in the first place!" which was followed by a gaggle of laughter.

I just didn't know where to start.

First of all, I don't go scouting for a potential boyfriend by asking what is his occupation. Honestly, I do find it quite shallow. If every female looking for a future husband does their filtering based on occupation, what hope would that give to all our male blue-collared workers? They can only marry on-par or below themselves? So a bartender should only pair up with a waitress, is that it? Does it mean that as an IT graduate I need to be with someone who has a Masters or PhD? If I had adhered to this strict line of selection, I would probably still be single now.

Secondly, although I mentioned that my boyfriend doesn't earn much but why should bartending be deemed as an profession with no future? Bartenders do get promoted to become bar supervisors and managers. I just really cannot stand the typical Singaporean elitism and snobbery. Really you know, I swear this form of professional discrimination only exists in Asian countries. I believe bartending is a respectable service profession anywhere else outside of Asia.

Third, although there is no wrong to "live off" your boyfriend, but I really don't see why it has to be the automatically be the first thing on people's mind and not a last resort. I am sure that my friend didn't have any ill-meaning when she passed the remark, but it does bring about this sense of being talked down.

Friends who know me best will know that I openly introduce my boyfriend as a bartender and I don't try the slightest to hide it. Honestly I don't see what is so wrong with it. I can see why people do but it just pisses me off when they pass such judgements like that.

Although my boyfriend doesn't earn much, he does his best in providing for me and tries to pay whenever he can. This means much more to me than having someone who can afford the luxury to splurge to pay for every single thing. I don't mind paying sometimes, afterall, I don't see the point in making my boyfriend broke.

I guess Weny said it best with this quote, "Love is a condition when the happiness of your partner is essential to your own."