Hope is a Dangerous Thing
Tonight I sit before my laptop on my bed, drinking a bottle of Barcardi Breezer Orange which I have purchased sometime last year, so right now I'm in the perfect mood to drown all of you with my sorrows.
Several months ago after I was done with school, I was aimlessly pondering about whether I should or should not stay in Melbourne after my graduation. And until today, I'm still pondering about my decision.
The thing is, as of now, I am currently short of five points to be qualified to apply for Permanent Residency.
There are basically three options to obtain five extra bonus points.
Number one, it is to take a language test to be a certified interpreter. Knowing my standard of Chinese, B4 at 'O' Levels no doubt and merit in oral exam - but that was like eight bloody years ago. Now I think I should just be thankful that I'm able to read the Chinese lyrics off the TV screen whenever we go for Karaoke and still remember how to write my name in Chinese characters.
Number two is the most favourable out of the three. It is also the most simple and easiest method but also the most expensive. The way to get the five measly bonus points is to make a capital investment at a minimum of AUD$100,000 with the Australian Government for a duration at least one year.
Number three is at the moment out of the question as I don't have enough time for it which is to obtain a working experience of at least six months related to the field of study that you are qualified in. As the PR application window is only up to six months from the time you graduate, I don't have enough time to get hired and work for six months by June.
Right now, number two seems to be the only solution.
And the big problem is that I've already booked my flight home back to Singapore for the 25th of January which is in exactly two weeks time. Also, I've re-negotiated my lease with my management so that I can early depart without the penalty of a AUD$200 cancellation fee and the confiscation of my AUD$800 security bond. Lastly, I've also shipped back a good amount of my property, but mostly clothes and the stuff that I can do without for the remaining weeks. In short, it's going to take a lot of effort for me to reverse my decision which I'm still uncertain of what I want to begin with!
It's so fucked up lah.
Several months ago as I was pondering about my options here, I was worried about several things. If I was seriously going to choose to stay, I was worried about the financial strain I would be placing on my parents.
Honestly, most of the past two years that I've been here have been quite enjoyable. There are just times that I get quite lonely. Even though I'm surrounded by people I still get lonely. At best I get by it trying to shift my focus on other more important things, at worse it gets so overwhelming that it consumes me and trust me when I say I can get pretty fucked up.
I was also not very keen about staying partially because of the aftermath of the incident. I constantly felt like I was getting in the way of things and being caught in the middle. It got to a point that I got so sick of it that I couldn't wait to leave Melbourne to get away from it all. Running away had always seemed to be a good way to resolve my problems.
Amidst all of this, my mum was pestering me to go home for Chinese New Year. I was so tired about trying to scrap up the extra five points that I didn't want to think about the situation anymore so I finally relented and booked my flight home.
Up until last month, I was still pretty sure going home was the right thing to do. As the day to go home draws nearer each day, the more I feel this burning yearn to stay.
Sigh. After all this rambling, I think I should be fine.
I just have to get acquainted to the fact that I'm going home for good.
That's all.
Shouldn't be too hard.
I hope.
Several months ago after I was done with school, I was aimlessly pondering about whether I should or should not stay in Melbourne after my graduation. And until today, I'm still pondering about my decision.
The thing is, as of now, I am currently short of five points to be qualified to apply for Permanent Residency.
There are basically three options to obtain five extra bonus points.
Number one, it is to take a language test to be a certified interpreter. Knowing my standard of Chinese, B4 at 'O' Levels no doubt and merit in oral exam - but that was like eight bloody years ago. Now I think I should just be thankful that I'm able to read the Chinese lyrics off the TV screen whenever we go for Karaoke and still remember how to write my name in Chinese characters.
Number two is the most favourable out of the three. It is also the most simple and easiest method but also the most expensive. The way to get the five measly bonus points is to make a capital investment at a minimum of AUD$100,000 with the Australian Government for a duration at least one year.
Number three is at the moment out of the question as I don't have enough time for it which is to obtain a working experience of at least six months related to the field of study that you are qualified in. As the PR application window is only up to six months from the time you graduate, I don't have enough time to get hired and work for six months by June.
Right now, number two seems to be the only solution.
And the big problem is that I've already booked my flight home back to Singapore for the 25th of January which is in exactly two weeks time. Also, I've re-negotiated my lease with my management so that I can early depart without the penalty of a AUD$200 cancellation fee and the confiscation of my AUD$800 security bond. Lastly, I've also shipped back a good amount of my property, but mostly clothes and the stuff that I can do without for the remaining weeks. In short, it's going to take a lot of effort for me to reverse my decision which I'm still uncertain of what I want to begin with!
It's so fucked up lah.
Several months ago as I was pondering about my options here, I was worried about several things. If I was seriously going to choose to stay, I was worried about the financial strain I would be placing on my parents.
Honestly, most of the past two years that I've been here have been quite enjoyable. There are just times that I get quite lonely. Even though I'm surrounded by people I still get lonely. At best I get by it trying to shift my focus on other more important things, at worse it gets so overwhelming that it consumes me and trust me when I say I can get pretty fucked up.
I was also not very keen about staying partially because of the aftermath of the incident. I constantly felt like I was getting in the way of things and being caught in the middle. It got to a point that I got so sick of it that I couldn't wait to leave Melbourne to get away from it all. Running away had always seemed to be a good way to resolve my problems.
Amidst all of this, my mum was pestering me to go home for Chinese New Year. I was so tired about trying to scrap up the extra five points that I didn't want to think about the situation anymore so I finally relented and booked my flight home.
Up until last month, I was still pretty sure going home was the right thing to do. As the day to go home draws nearer each day, the more I feel this burning yearn to stay.
Sigh. After all this rambling, I think I should be fine.
I just have to get acquainted to the fact that I'm going home for good.
That's all.
Shouldn't be too hard.
I hope.
saccha went to bed sometime after 7:40 PM
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3 Comments:
hey... dunno how to make you feel better... but as an encouragement, it might be tougher to stay in melbourne for good? cos you need to work out a way to live there whereas here its pretty easy and you have everyone with you when you need help or in doubt... and of course you have us... you will definitely feel sad leaving a place you have lived in for ths past 2 years.. but frankly, studying life and working life will be different... so... think you should get my point.. .hopefully you will feel better when you are finally back here... mel and i are looking forward to your return and ting's short visit :o)
i just spoke to my mum. she said she will be checking with my dad tonight. she will give me a reply tomorrow. i'm not sure what the decision will be but before we hung up she told me, "if papa says no means no okay?"
i feel discouraged.
*sighs*
hmm... don't think too much ahz... just leave it to your parents ba.. its still their money we are talking about so... theres nothing much you can do...
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